gimme some advice
a goodperson of my acquaintance donated some money into the ah,
cause... you know, my obsession... well, i guess i have made it (some
of)you guyses obsession too... enough so that i can go back and try
to do stuff, and do stuff with. help ya know. like get them a lawyer,
for eg.
i sure could use some advice as to how to use this best. for example,
should *i* go there and do it myself or should i continue to use
zoli. on one hand, if i go there it will use up about 1000 for
airfare... but then i can also take things, like warm clothing i can
collect here, and the computer i got for zoli - i did a website in a
trade for that - along. seeing as it is incredibly expensive to mail
things there, and the computer impossible unless someone takes it
along.
also, i am afraid of zoli suffering grief from his employer if he
keeps taking days off. jobs are hard to find. and he is starting to
be a bit burned out, working 2 shifts a day, and then trying to deal
with stuff in vasarhely.
if i go, then i can look around myself, and distribute where needed.
there are people also, that need. and if i am there, i can teach
those kids a lot of things... you know, open the window a bit. also,
i could try to find that syrian doctor who helps streetkids and offer
a bit of help there too.
and thirdly, money corrupts. i might have to pay larger amounts, like
for the lawyer, as you know. can zoli handle that, when he is so
broke himself... tho i am also trying to help him. corruption, tho i
think myself immune, i am not so sure about zoli... and i would just
as soon he not have to face that part of himself. he is too young and
too vulnerable. and too much in need himself.
on the other hand, if i don't go myself, that airfare money can very
much serve much better purpose. it can go a long way, over there.
and maybe my wanting to go is nothing but self-indulgence. ohyouknow,
cause it makes me feel good to see people happy, or that i am
suffering from a hitherto unexperienced surge of maternality, haha.
both of which are kinda selfish.
so gimme advice, oh wiser ones than me
-e
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